SIZZLETOWN Episode Guide             

Ep 1: What’s It Gonna Be? 13/4/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Only three SFX/Why a podcast?
CALLER: Conrad – ‘Previously on The Mentalist’.
BREAK: Daryl Somers Show (Ugly Dave)/Straw Thief.
MESSAGE: Trevor Devon at Kryal Castle FM.
BREAK: McKinnon gig/Stacks of Slacks/Cod, Sole & Shrimp.
CALLER: Dion – iTunes card scam.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Deadly Kerfuffle - Book of the Week in Devonport.
INT: William Friedkin – French Connection chase.
THEME: Original.

Ep 2: Bathmat Warehouse 25/4/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Limited SFX again/Podworx tour.
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Bathmat Warehouse.
BREAK: Daryl Somers Show (sketch death)/Mr Football - Lou Richards.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Busted Nut Comedy Festival.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Get Yer Dag On!/Cat calls in/Dual camera insertions.
INT: Peter Meager – Australian Review of Tweets.
THEME: Original.

Ep 3: Previously on Harrow 9/5/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Still only three SFX/Up to the roof (Magnificent Men).
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Pub Classic/Harrow/80s music.
BREAK: Previously on Harrow.
MESSAGE: Bane calls from Screen Australia.
BREAK: Nicolas Cage retirement/Cat calls again.
CALLER: Dion – Wild Bean Café/Court cases.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Childproof - Podcast Awards – Sturgo/Scarface story.
INT: Jason Statham – ‘Man and knife’.
THEME: Original.
 
Ep 4: Funnels 22/5/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Broadcasting from car – cop moves us on.
CALLER: Conrad – ‘Here come The Avengers’/Other podcasts.
BREAK: Cat calls/Dial-up cicadas/’Arble Darble’.
CALLER: Bryan Lyons calls from Werribee Treatment Plant.
BREAK: Matt’s beeping skills.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Speakola – Gay ATM.
CALLER: Driveway Guy – rams our car with his.
BREAK: On the Buses (camera scam)
CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Spambot business opportunity.
BREAK: What’s happening with The Doctor Blake Mysteries?
INT: Blakey – ‘The Inspector Blake Mysteries’.
THEME: Original.
 
Ep 5: Possum Bother 6/6/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO:  Possums in the roof/NZ possums policy.
CALLER: Rod Sardonicus – Boat People/Homosexual marriage.
BREAK: Hot Desking correction/Migrate those podcasts.
CALLER: Dion – Metal detector/Second internet.
BREAK: Pacific Banana re-release.
CALLER: The Hater – Show is terrible/Flu shot.
BREAK: Cat Translator request.
CROSS-PROMOTION: TEAM Effort.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Barry Dickbag’s Metalfest.
BREAK: Possum Botherers release panther into ceiling.
INT: Desmond Bowie – David Bowie’s little brother.
THEME: Epic.

Ep 6: This is Ashburton 20/6/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Podworx tour – do you have a dolphin in there?
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Tantric sex/$5 shop/Graffiti/This is Ashburton.
BREAK: Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance telemovie.
CALLER: Shane Couch – My computer is watching me.
BREAK: Matt’s dolphin.
CROSS-PROMOTION: HYBPA - ADbc clip.
CALLER: Brendan Fancy – Angry about Fancy Feast jokes.
BREAK: Cat Translator update.
INT: HAL 9000 – Tries to shut down podcast.
THEME: Original.

Ep 7: Nanobots! 4/7/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: No time for an intro.
CALLER: Dion – Kiss of Life/Spoiler Blackmail/Nuber.
BREAK: Comedy FX/Dolphin breaks the Cat Translator.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Nanobots/Love Island.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Confessions of the Idiots.
CALLER: Server Guy – Other podcasts/Bill not paid.
BREAK: Downgraded to mono.
INT: William Friedkin – French Connection casting.
THEME: Original.

Ep 8: The Pikelet Man 18/7/18
 
PROLOGUE: Toilet humour warning.
THEME: Epic
INTRO: Tap-dancing postman.
CALLER: The Hater – Show still terrible/License photo.
BREAK: Daryl Somers Show (bad transitions).
CALLER: Dave Clacton – ‘Political Correctness Can Get Fucked’ festival.
BREAK: Cat Translator finally works.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Birds are stupid.
CROSS-PROMOTION: The Ash Williams Show.
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Battery World/Poojogger.
SONG: ‘Mr Poo Guy’.
THEME: Epic
 
Ep 9: Waiting for Carbo 1/8/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Matt on Page 3/Volcanos.
CALLER: Fisher Stevens – Alan Jones silencedAfrican gangs.
BREAK: Why no sponsor?/Tony’s Logies gig - ‘Pingers’ controversy.
CALLER: Dion – Meeting Carbo.
BREAK: At the door: Colin Holcroft with petition/Dolphin in Matt’s van.
INT: Jack Nicholson – On working with Roger Corman.
THEME: Original.

Ep 10: A Lowering Cloud Over the Stalls 15/8/18
 
THEME: Original. (with party noise)
INTRO: Songs that feature a bed of partygoers (includes song).
CALLER: Conrad – Becoming an actor a la Marlon Brando.
BREAK: More Logies talk/Daryl Somers Show (dog with cancer).
CALLER: Shane Table – Opting out of My Health Record.
BREAK: Cops from Dolphin Squad York & Sargent looking for Matt.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Garbage truck and bin are colluding.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – Grant Crapp/Why no sport?
INT: Les Cleary – Top snooker commentator.
THEME: Original.

Ep 11: Crapp’s Last Tape 29/8/18
 
PROLOGUE: Podworx manager demands language warning.
THEME: Vibes.
INTRO: Matt sending e-mails and emptying trash.
CALLER: Lorna Palethorpe – Plastic shopping bags.
BREAK: Late Night Dedication – Not All Men…don’t like Nashville.
CALLER: Dion – Domino’s and Bunnings scams.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Santo, Sam & Ed – Sam and Tony’s comedy husbands.
CALLERS: Phillip at Bank/Lloyd Muffler/Ian Teale (all wanting feedback)
BREAK: Feedback!/Dial 9 to hang up/Dicklord/Matt Scarface theme.
INT: Peter Meager – Nine Books/Writers festivals.
THEME: Vibes.

Ep 12: Sketch Happens 12/9/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Endless Perfect Match theme.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – No Sky News in railway stations/Snakadaktal.
BREAK: Perfect Match theme still going/Shows with word ‘skit’ in title.
CALLER: The Hater – Expired referral at podiatrist/chiropodist.
BREAK: Deano thank you – Matt’s FX barrage/Matt solo - On the Buses.
CALLER: Theo – Can’t think of a topic/Colours.
CROSS-PROMOTION: BLB (Blakey’s ‘Summer of 69’)/Perfect Match end.
INT: Simon Haight – ‘It should have been Tony Abbott’.
THEME: Original.

Ep 13: Nightbird 26/9/18
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Tony tries to bribe construction workers to be quiet.
CALLER: Dion – Nut Butter case back on/Incident at Maccas drive-thru.
BREAK: Tony in ‘Peter Harvey’ Google search/Matt iRock lookalike.
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Big Men’s Paradise/Au pair invasion.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Tony’s Sons and Daughters Twitter gallery.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – If ‘man’ won’t bring him food, will catch ‘nightbird’.
CALLER: Dion (pt 2) - Lawyer arrested/Needs Tony for character reference.
INT: David Lynch – Will do TV commercial for us/Floats away.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: ‘It’s the end bit’ song.

Ep 14: Tongs for the Squeamish 10/10/18
 
PROLOGUE: ABCfm – Cold Hard Cash!
THEME: Orchestral.
INTRO: It’s our ‘Classy’ episode – what other shows did for Ep 14.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Kids obsessed with screens/Mission: Impossible.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Damian Cowell’s Disco Machine.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Feminist comedy at The Busted Nut.
BREAK: Tony does a dolphin deal for Matt with explosive results.
INT: Jason Statham – ‘The Gig’/ Shakespeare and self-deprecation.
THEME: Orchestral.

Ep 15: Inappropriate Developments 24/10/18
 
PROLOGUE: Language and jazz warning.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Tony and Matt welcome our new Spotify listeners
CALLER: Irving Sempleton – Manager of Spotify.
BREAK: Movie Title Line: The Big Country.
CALLER: Theo – Still can’t think of a topic.
BREAK: Bees hate jazz.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – Barry Football.
MESSAGE: Barry Football – sexting scandal.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Having birds arrested/Patch of sun.
BREAK: Turning down game show to keep doing Sizzletown.
CALLER: Clive Howlett – Powerball win.
CALLER: Dion’s Lawyer – Dion facing Nut Butter-related charges.
BREAK: Tony’s question about the Teacher’s Pet podcast
INT: Guthrie Runter – Property developers /Blowjobs.
THEME: Original.

Ep 16: Nut Butter Express 7/11/18
 
PROLOGUE: Dolphin traders hospital room.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: No time for an intro.
CALLER: Conrad – The next R. Lee Ermey/Oil rig/Mayoral robes.
BREAK: Matt back from Fiji/Joy Division Sussan jingle.
CALLER: Dion – Home with ‘ankle bracelet’/Buying Blind.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Mad as Hell – ‘Tony Martin’ on Newstopia.
CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Further Spambot opportunities.
BREAK: Shootout in the control room.
INT: William Friedkin – William Peter Blatty’s terrible script.
THEME: Original.

Ep 17: Dub Version 21/11/18
 
PROLOGUE: Podworx manager post-‘bloodbath’/Theme is ‘scratched’.
THEME: Dub.
INTRO: Stuck in dub/Repeated sound effect.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Reverse racism/It’s OK to be white/Radiohead.
BREAK: Cooking show promo/RIP John D. Lamond.
CALLER: Shane Curtains – Dick pic database.
CROSS-PROMOTION: ‘Making Muffins’ by Oliver Clark.
CALLER: Clive Howlett – Eating chips from a bag on the freeway.
BREAK: Sizzletown T-shirts now available.
CALLER: Warren Staples – Drops dolphin from helicopter.
BREAK: Podworx manager (Heathcote Shiraz) can’t see dolphin.
INT: David Smallwood – From Diversity Council. Show is ‘problematic’.
THEME: Dub.
EPILOGUE: ‘No secret ending’ song.

Ep 18: Hey Matty! 5/12/18
 
THEME: Epic (with ‘decrepit conductor’ intro.)
INTRO: Three sounds including Inception ‘Bwaaa’
CALLER: The Hater – Loyalty card.
BREAK: Noisy movie trailers.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Christmas shows at The Busted Nut.
BREAK: Matt’s noisy Sizzletown 2019 trailer/T-shirts still available.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Temporary bird/Dog on string.
BREAK: No cross-promotion – bees invade Matt’s control room.
CALLER: Dion – Has been paid a fortune for his ‘Nuber’ idea.
SONG: ‘Hey Matty!’
THEME: Epic.
EPILOGUE: Tony encounters Pete Smith outside Podworx.
 
Ep 19: Bento Box 7/2/19
 
SPONSOR: Heathcote cancels eviction due to Allegiance Wines.
SKETCH: Teacher’s Pet-style investigation into Matt’s ‘activities’.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: ‘Hey Nineteen’ – Matt has nineteen sound effects.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Granddaughter is ‘undecided in gender dept’.
BREAK: Sinatra coincidences/Tony Martin insult on The Deuce.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Sugarcube incursions/Raised media profile.
SPONSOR: ‘Severed Arms’ cab sav/Roland Mulberry too loud next door.
CALLER: Rodney Pyles – Brexit.
BREAK: Tony accused of anti-NZ racism back in ‘Tim & Phul’ days.
CALLER: Dion – Has a butler/Neil Diamond ‘What’s It Gonna Be?’
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Matt’s leftover SFX.

Ep 20: The Podcast That Goes Wrong 21/2/19
 
SPONSOR: Read is accompanied by inappropriate typing.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Tony’s neighbours’ drunken singing/Jazz restores late night vibe.
CALLER: Shane Door – Leap year conspiracy/TV sending messages.
BREAK: Byron Bay ‘dick sculpture’.
CALLER: Conrad – Did the Bird Box Challenge.
SPONSOR: ‘Severed Arms’ cab sav/‘Bionic’ FX to silence Roland Mulberry.
CALLER: Clive Howlett – Good One Insurance/Toilet iPad.
BREAK: Mariah’s World line/Tony’s first joke.
INT: Peter Meager – Programming MTC/Plays that ’go wrong’.
THEME: Original.
 
Ep 21: A Legal Mix of Menthol and Sugar 7/3/19
 
SPONSOR: Tony does read from car while running late for show.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Matt starts show. This Is Us music keeps kicking in.
CALLER: Dion – Still under house arrest/Global warming.
BREAK: Tony watched Queen of Outer Space.
CALLER: The Hater – Berates us for returning/Brian on Escape to the Country.
SPONSOR: Allegiance are award-winners.
MESSAGE: Barry Football – ‘A legal mix of menthol and sugar’.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Cleanfluencers/Mental Hygienist.
BREAK: Roland Mulberry is a ghost!
INT: Willem Dafoe – His many movie deaths.
THEME: Original.
 
Ep 22: Clacton’s Folly 21/3/19
 
SPONSOR: Tony placates Tim from Allegiance while cooking stir-fry.
PROLOGUE: ‘Previously on Sizzletown’
THEME: Epic.
INTRO: Heatcote interrupts/Tony and Matt’s audible thoughts.
CALLER: Creyton – Doesn’t want exit row responsibilities.
BREAK: ‘Mopping Up’/Living with a book editor.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Threatens to call RSPCA/Avoiding paparazzi.
SPONSOR: Channel Ten ‘cupboard’ clip/Where’s Dave Clacton?
CALLER: Dave Clacton - Severed Arms wine/Busted Nut 2019.
BREAK: How young people see Rolf Harris.
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Windscreen World/Paul Bongiorno statue.
BREAK: Strange Roland Mulberry-Pete Smith connection.
INT: Tum – Discusses Tum & Phul break-up.
THEME: Epic.

Ep 23: Crisps 4/4/19
 
PROLOGUE: Warning about almost everything in show.
SPONSOR: Matt adds morse code to Tony’s read ‘for sailors’.
THEME: Original.
CALLER: Norrie Rolle – Doesn’t know who he’s called.
INTRO: Matt looking suave with ‘El Bimbo’ theme music.
CALLER: Irving Sempleton – Used to run Snapchat and NASA.
BREAK: Why the Martin/Molloy albums can’t be re-released.
CALLER: Dion – Apartment-selling plan/Hinder-Tinder.
SPONSOR: More on M/M albums/Sound effect for each wine.
CALLER: Dick Roundabout – Roundabout Finances/Keeps saying ‘crisps’.
BREAK: Denton mistaken for Tony/Shooting at Mulberry’s former home.
INT: Simon Haight – Pell innocent/Eating Tony Abbott’s onion.
THEME: Original.

Ep 24: Local Galoots 18/4/19
 
SPONSOR: Tony is continually prompted by Matt.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Tony starts endless Berocca.
CALLER: The Hater – Brian wants his Private Practice DVDs back.
BREAK: Cops York & Sargent return due to shooting in last episode.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Gangs of blackface entertainers/Weezer.
SPONSOR: More medals for Severed Arms cab sav.
MESSAGE: Barry Football – ‘A widely circulated video of my penis.’
BREAK: ‘Rock! and Sport!’ promo.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Sugarcube feud continues/Baffled by ‘Reverse Me’.
CROSS-PROMOTION: Glennridge Secondary College - triggers a single bee.
SKETCH: TAB robbers on Escape from the City.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Endless Berocca continues.
 
Ep 25: St. Bogan 2/5/19
 
SPONSOR: Berocca still going/Read accompanied by shark warning.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Another Podworx tour/Heathcote has spotted cops watching studio.
CALLER: Dion – Psychic Hotline/Gone ‘fully crypto’/Magnetic slurpee.
BREAK: On the Buses – studio audience very quiet.
CALLER: Rodney Pyles – Tries to explain On the Buses.
SPONSOR: Allegiance Kindred has dolphin label?/New T-shirts .
BREAK: Heathcote delivers exploding videotape. Matt saves the day.
INT: Chef Marius – Bad behaviour of patrons at his restaurant.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: ‘That’s It’ song.

Ep 26: Ghostfist 16/5/19
 
SPONSOR: Tony performs skateboard tricks during read.
THEME: Vibes.
INTRO: No time for an intro – straight to callers.
CALLER: Fisher Stevens – Long story about African gangs.
CALLER: Ian Teale – Saw Tony having key cut.
CALLER: Outraged Man – Women won’t allow themselves to be miniaturised.
BREAK: Australian Podcast Award nominations.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – New shows at Busted Nut/Tax Department thwarted.
SPONSOR: Allegiance range/Tony confronts Roland Mulberry’s ghost.
BREAK: Heathcote describes Roland’s death/’Dumb birds’ on The Heights.
INT: William Friedkin – Mercedes McCambridge in The Exorcist.
THEME: Vibes.
EPILOGUE: Ian Teale visits the keycutter.

Ep 27: Inadequate Sentencing 30/5/19
 
SPONSOR: Newsreel-style vox-pop.
THEME: Original (with 30’s dance band intro and amendments)
INTRO: 2019 Podcast Awards/Comedy stings.
CALLER: Dick Roundabout – new office is on a roundabout.
BREAK: Burstyn/Bursteen story.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Pet Sematary cat.
SPONSOR: Another medal for the Severed/Tony calls an evasive Pete Smith.
CALLER: Stapleton – ‘I hope you rot in jail’.
BREAK: Listener Questions, inc Berocca still going; noisy Statham trailer.
CALLER: Conrad – Clactogram/Tries to describe MAFS.
BREAK: Show has run over. Only time for a quick song…
SONG: ‘Lou Reed’s Sizzletown’.
THEME: Original.

Ep 28: Golden Wonder  13/6/19
 
SPONSOR: Read accompanied by pissweak fireworks show.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Show explained in song (with Matt on recorders).
CALLER: Norrie Rolle – Still doesn’t know who he’s called.
CALLER: Dion – Road trip with Higgins to every Wild Bean Café.
BREAK: Walking project/Warwick Capper ‘Braindead Prisoner’.
CALLER: The Hater – Post-awards spray/Booking pub for trivia night.
SPONSOR: Half of Severed Arms sold/Mulberry-related lift incident.
BREAK: Matt holds fort/Heathcote arrives post-explosion.
CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Spambot strikes again.
SKETCH: Pauline Hanson ‘cut and spliced so many times.’
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Two weeks later: sprinklers still on in Heathcote’s office.

Ep 29: Gender Fluid 27/6/19
 
SPONSOR: Read in forest interrupted by logging and fire-ants
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Back at Matt’s – possums and cattle in the roof.
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Compulsory sex-changes/Whiteboard Wonderland.
BREAK: Andre Rieu in waiting room/Opera singers singing non-opera songs.
CALLER: Shane Magazines – Catfished by James Charles/Moon footage faked.
SPONSOR: Kindred label has whales/Whale song – ‘Whole Lotta Love’.
BREAK: Tony seeks advice on Pete Smith affair from Jordan Peterson.
CALLER: Giles Baratheon – Has written new ending for Game of Thrones.
INT: Simon Haight – ‘ScoMo’/Serenades Tony Abbott with ’Fever’.
THEME: Original

Ep 30: Gravy Loaded 11/7/19
 
SPONSOR: Tony attempts to do read on flying fox.
THEME: Epic.
INTRO: Sneaking into building to Tchaikovsky/Heathcote has CCTV footage.
CALLER: Ray – Boiled egg prank backfired.
BREAK: Girlfriend’s mum keeps e-mailing Bill Shorten’s office.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – ‘Racial Slur Month’ at The Busted Nut.
SPONSOR: ‘Mixed twelve wines’ in SFX.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Sugarcube a ‘buckethead’/Internet cats.
CALLER: Dion – Trying to evade cops in Wodonga Macca’s drive-thru.
THEME: Epic.
 
Ep 31: Slightly Different 25/7/19
 
SPONSOR: Matt (on holiday) has left SFX to accompany the read.
THEME: Original
INTRO: Matt now working on Kennedy Molloy.
CALLER: Conrad – Won a draft excluder at the pub quiz night.
BREAK: Joy Division David Jones jingle.
CALLER: Neil – Found ‘House of Bulger’ DVD at post office.
SPONSOR: New wine ‘The Vortex’.
CALLER: The Hater – Bags Tony on Logies/Apple Genius Bar.
BREAK: Logies titbit/Heathcote has the lift explosion footage.
INT: Bryan Lyons – The latest from Werribee Treatment Plant.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Lift bomber revealed!

Ep 32: A Bigger Gulp 8/8/19
 
SPONSOR: Conrad does the read.
THEME: Original
INTRO: Tony addresses the Ash Williams lift bomb accusation.
CALLER: Dion – Wollongong/Judgement Night/Wild Bean notes.
BREAK: Ash’s message appears to confirm his innocence.
CALLER: Gary Gulp – ‘Libtards’/Big Gulps now bigger.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Medical marijuana/More African gangs/Pulp.
SPONSOR: A fourth medal for the Severed/Tony falls into The Vortex.
CALLER: Norrie Rolle – The usual confusion.
BREAK: Berocca still not dissolved
INT: Peter Meager – Back in publishing at Pink Ink.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Tony finds a hole in Ash’s story.

Ep 33: Danglemouse 22/8/19
 
SPONSOR: Heathcote throws knives at Tony as he does the read.
THEME: Orchestral.
INTRO: Overworked Matt not getting enough sleep.
CALLER: Conrad – Getting recognised after his Ep 32 voice-over.
BREAK: ‘New features’ – Tony recalls The Spoonman’s ‘hypotheticals’.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Doing his own ‘Rocketman’-style movie.
SPONSOR: Severed Arms has won a fifth gold medal!
BREAK: Cops York & Sargent report disappearance of Ash Williams.
CALLER: Fisher Stevens – Shipping baby formula to China.
BREAK: Broadway musicals referencing historic figures in song.
INT: William Friedkin – Firing guns on the set of The Exorcist.
THEME: Orchestral.
EPILOGUE: ‘Ow, stop hitting me’ song.

Ep 34: Unplugged 5/9/19
 
THEME: Casiotone.
INTRO: ‘Unplugged’ explained/Beavis & Butthead FX.
TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1980.
CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny - Princess Diana reincarnated.
STORY: ‘The Dark Knight Triumphant in Classic Cooney Farce’.
THEME: Casiotone.

Ep 35: Clodpoles 19/9/19
 
SPONSOR: Tony sucked in and out of Vortex during read.
THEME: Vibes.
INTRO: Matt only has three FX again, including overhead plane.
CALLER: Dion – Incarcerated in Wollongong.
BREAK: The ‘Trump pretends to have read the bible’ clip
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Waleed Aly making a bomb/Sexyland.
SPONSOR: Multiple Allegiance labels.
CALLER: Ian Teale – Saw Tony buying pens/Falls out of ceiling.
BREAK: Ash Williams trapped in the body of Roland Mulberry.
CALLER: Shane Restraining Order – What’s happened to iTunes?
SONG: Tom Waits – ‘Destination Sizzletown’.
THEME: Vibes.
EPILOGUE: The Ash Williams Show with Roland Mulberry.

Ep 36: Unplugged Rides Again 3/10/19
 
THEME: Glockenspiel.
TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1981.
CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – Heard at the movies.
STORY: ‘Irresponsible Journalism’.
THEME: Glockenspiel.

Ep 37: The Tradie’s Mate 17/10/19
 
SPONSOR: ‘Previously on Harrow’-style read.
THEME: Dub.
INTRO: ‘Sam Pang, Thank You Ma’am’.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Computer Box/Goldfinch flops.
MESSAGE: Barry Football – Another dick pic apology.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Heavy metal one-man bands/The Usual Dagos.
SPONSOR: More Matron talk.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – ‘Greta Bloody Thunberg!’
BREAK: ‘Mopping Up’/Feminist in On the Buses.
INT: Simon Haight – ‘ScoMo, the Tradie’s Mate.’
THEME: Dub.

Ep 38: Unplugged Goes to Monte Carlo 31/10/19
 
THEME: Steel Drum.
TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1982.
CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – ‘Tits and Schnitz’.
STORY: ‘Optimus Schmoptimus’.
THEME: Steel Drum.

Ep 39: Logic’s Doin’ Wheelies 14/11/19
 
SPONSOR: Roland Mulberry (containing Ash) does read.
THEME: Live.
INTRO: Show hiatus announced.
CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Fake Telstra email.
CALLER: Ian Teale – Hiding in boot of Tony’s car.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Floats terrible idea for Tony.
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Inappropriate Development Apartments.
CALLER: Norrie Rolle - Still confused.
BREAK: On the Buses – final episode.
CALLER: Rodney Pyles – On the Buses movies.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Pill testing/Big Day Out.
CALLER: Shane Old Copy of Mayfair – Daylight Saving conspiracy.
CALLER: Clive Howlett – Restraining order hindering reunion with wife.
CALLER: The Hater – Turns tables by eavesdropping on Tony & Matt off-air.
SPONSOR: ‘Sizzle’ code offer to continue thru 2020.
MESSAGES: Willem Dafoe / Simon Haight / William Friedkin /
Bryan Lyons / Desmond Bowie.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Ant-Man a ‘documentary’.
CALLER: Giles Baratheon – Has written new ending for The Defenders.
CALLER: Dick Roundabout – Still no clients on roundabout.
CALLER: Irving Sempleton – Now the CEO of TikTok.
CALLER: Fisher Stevens – Alan Jones on ‘Struggle Street’.
BREAK: Cops York & Sargent arrive with solution to Mulberry case.
MESSAGES: Jason Statham / Trevor Devon / David Lynch /
Peter Meager / HAL 9000.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – ‘Bird of the Year’ competition is dumb.
CALLER: Dion – En route to the Goldie in a Kombi.
CALLER: Conrad – Recalls his first call/Drops his pen.
BREAK: Thank you and good evening.
SONG: ‘When it’s Sizzletown (You Better Be Ready)’
THEME: Live.
EPILOGUE: Berocca finally dissolves/Pete Smith guitar message/Blooper.

Ep 40: Unplugged Goes Bananas 28/11/19
 
THEME: Doorbell.
TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1983.
CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – Statham talk.
STORY: ‘In a Tree’.
THEME: Doorbell.

Ep 41: Coronapanic Special 12/4/20
 
SKETCH: David Panic 1.
INTRO: Tony isolating, Matt has had trampoline delivered.
CALLER: Shane Fifteen Packets of Toilet Paper – Coronaspiracies.
SKETCH: David Panic 2.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Busted Nut goes on-line.
SKETCH: David Panic 3.
BREAK: Matt’s SFX barrage.
CALLER: Dion – Staying one step ahead of the Rona/Hazmat suits.
SKETCH: David Panic 4.
THEME: Original.

Ep 42: Objectionable Content 10/6/20
 
SPONSOR: Read hampered by poor Zoom quality.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Tony in lockdown - tuba lesson next door.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Clementine Ford’s tweet.
BREAK: More tuba/’Objectionable to those under 15’ warning. 
CALLER: Shane Tablets – Chinese Belt and Road theory.
BREAK: Matt fights dog.
SPONSOR: New Allegiance wine, ‘Sweet Betty’.
BREAK: Tony’s parcel forwarded to Border Force.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Savory Centers.
BREAK: Norman Swan cameo/Hoodie plug.
INT: Simon Haight – ‘Scomosas’.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Tuba player still at it.

Ep 43: False Flags 4/2/21

THEME: Vibes.
INTRO: No time for an intro – straight to callers. 
CALLER: Shane Neighbour’s Cat – Capitol riots part of 5G conspiracy.
CALLER: Stoner – Cut off almost immediately.
BREAK: Welcome to the ep. Matt quite busy.
CALLER: Kerryn – Failed to engage cops in anti-mask argument.
CALLER: Stapleton – ‘I hope you rot in jail’ again.
BREAK: Tony in Orange/New sponsor: Factory Espresso.
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Phosphate Paradise/Audiobooks/Vaccine.
CALLER: Theo – Thinks it’s a music quiz.
BREAK: 2020 Podcast Awards.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Busted Nut re-opened/Film Trivia Quiz.
THEME: Vibes.

Ep 44: Mr Popper’s Pangolins 4/3/21
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Last Voyage of the Pong Su still a touchy subject for Matt. 
CALLER: Dion – Quarantining in Dandenong/Mr Popper’s Penguins.
BREAK: Strange Tenants/The Tenant trailer.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Has a new ‘giant outdoor toot’.
BREAK: More Strange Tenants.
SPONSOR: Tony in Orange again/Beans!
CALLER: Wastewater Guy – Stop looking for Covid in Sewerage.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Suspicious of vaccine.
BREAK: Merch talk, with studio audience.
CALLER: Clive Howlett – Ex-wife has modified restraining order.
CALLER: @welcometothenannystate – ‘Dictator Dan’ song.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Still more Strange Tenants.
 
Ep 45: Paging Doctor Blumpkin 22/4/21
 
PROLOGUE: Offensive content warning.
THEME: Original.
INTRO: No callers. ‘Fuckwit 5000’ is deployed.
CALLER: The Hater – Tiny coffee/Ethical eggs/No cash.
CALLER: Herbert Twentyman – Politician texts sex worker.
BREAK: Bad behaviour on films sets – Crackerjack murder.
CALLERS: 4 x Anonymous Callers – TV/movie set stories.
SPONSOR: Shout-outs to Sizzle Merchants who pledged support.
BREAK: Clip with nanobots theory at anti-vaccine rally.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Goes ‘woke’ when granddaughter is in earshot.
BREAK: Matt’s neighbours on all sides playing instruments.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Reg outtake: ‘Check your privilege’.

Ep 46: Apricot of Nothing 3/6/21
 
THEME: Epic.
INTRO: No time for an intro – straight to callers.
CALLERS: 3 x Callers who think it’s something called ‘Hazard a Guess’.
INT: Boris Johnson – ‘A belt and braces approach.’
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Can-opening delayed because of his ‘crimes’.
BREAK: Plane overhead. Matt magnifies sound.
CALLER: Mike McCorkindale – Calling from SportFM.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Half-vaccinated/Granddaughter/Bowie’s ‘Low’.
SPONSOR: More sound-effected shout-outs to Sizzle Merchants.
CALLER: Shane ‘Binlocliers’ – Vaccine and lockdown conspiracies.
BREAK: Lockdown entertainment at our YouTube channel.
CALLER: Dion – ‘Fast & Furious’ marathon – joined by Jason Statham.
THEME: Epic.
EPILOGUE: Dion and Jason Staham chat.

Ep 47: Triangles 1/7/21
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Failed attempt to introduce a 7-second delay.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – ‘Schnitz n Tits’ trouble/NutFlix is back.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Coles ‘Indian Style Triangles’.
CALLER: Giles Baratheon – Has written new ending for WandaVision.
SPONSOR: Further shout-outs to Sizzle Merchants. (‘Nice Crackle’.)
CALLER: ‘Dougal Stevenson’ – Carrie-style bucket prank misjudged.
CALLER: Triangles Guy – Threatened by triangles.
BREAK: New Sizzletown slogan T-Shirts.
INT: William Friedkin – To Live and Die in L.A. chase.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: From Chrissie, Sam & Browny - Browny and Jason Statham.

Ep 48: Mouse Replacement 5/8/21
 
PROLOGUE: Norman Swan - Mask advice.
THEME: Original.

INZTRO: ‘Stuart Bison’ confusion.
CALLER: Shane Betamax – ‘Danbot’/Mouse plague/Kiwi currency.
BREAK – Cop at door says ‘Have you seen this man?’
CALLERS: 3 x Callers pranking us with ‘Stuart Bison’ questions.
BREAK: ‘Podfarts’: The Giddy Carousel of Pop.
CALLER: Potato Cakes – wants incentives to get vaccinated.
SPONSOR: More sound effects for Sizzle Merchants.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – ‘Strategic attack’ on the Sugarcube.
BREAK: Bits of Get This at Bandcamp.
INT: Simon Haight – White men being silenced/’ScoMo’ update.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Simon Haight outtake: ‘ScoMo’ ‘fills his pantaloons’.

Ep 49: Benchtop Wonderland 2/9/21
 
PROLOGUE: ABCfm – Dion calls in.
THEME: Orchestral.
INTRO: ‘That Darn Cat’.
CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Benchtop Wonderland/Vaccine hesitancy.
MESSAGE: Barry Football – Racism apology. 
CALLER: Potato Cakes – confused about which is the original Chopper.
SPONSOR: Still more sound effects for Sizzle Merchants.
CALLER: Clive Howlett – Intervention pile-up.
BREAK: ‘Podfarts’: Interview with footballer.
INT: Jeff Goldblum – Australians/Sensual dinosaurs.
THEME: Orchestral.
EPILOGUE: ‘That Darn Cat’ located and translated.

Ep 50: Big Parma 7/10/21

PROLOGUE: Ep 50 Fireworks go off too early.
THEME: Epic.
INTRO: Tony locked out of booth/Incoherent Norrie clip.
CALLER: Norrie Rolle – As confused as in clip.
CALLER: Dave Clacton – Unimpressed by ScoMo submarine deal.
CALLER: Shane Fleshlight – ‘Big Parma’ conspiracy theory.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Took part in confusing protest march.
SPONSOR: Dion – Secret Netflix show/Beans talk with Nick Gleeson.
CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Supporting local businesses during Covid.
BREAK: Shout-outs to listeners with music and effects.

CALLER: Jason Statham congratulates us – joined by The Pikelet Man.
THEME: Epic, then becomes…
MUSIC: Danny Eddy and The Pikelet Men’s ska version of the theme.
EPILOGUE: Shane Fleshlight still on the line.

Ep 51: Quality Assurance 4/11/21
 
THEME: Original.
INTRO: Melbourne lockdown over/Tony’s barber.
CALLER: The Hater – Unimpressed by 50th ep/Express Post.
CALLER: Jimmy Nails – Fake vaccine passport scam.
CALLER: The Hater – Calls back in disguise.
BREAK: Apology for accidental message to Bandcamp followers.
CALLER: Radio Piracy DJ – Calling from international waters.
CALLER: Quality Assurance Man – Will his call assure quality?
SPONSOR: More listener pledges, including Tommy G.
CALLER: Fruit n Veg Man – ’Femmos’ at his supermarket.
CALLER: ‘Selwyn Toogood’ – A fair go for small-time drug lab operators.
BREAK: Bootleg 2000 at Bandcamp.

INT: Peter Meager – Commissioning hit pieces/Celebrity fart books.
THEME: Original.
EPILOGUE: Giddy Carousel of Pop response/Jimmy Nails blooper.

Ep 52: Reserve My Cancellation 2/12/21
 
PROLOGUE: Return to Podworx.
THEME: Live.
INTRO: No Pete Smith – ‘Skirts’ song clip.
CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Halloween/Thunberg dancing/Quinoa.
CALLER: ABC Viewer – Not happy with women being Wiggles.
CALLER: Ian Teale – Hiding in Tony’s boot again.
CALLER: Dick Roundabout – Still no clients on roundabout.
CALLER: Shane Fake Vaccine Passport – ‘Dandemic’. 
CALLERS: The five callers, all on together, sing ‘Skirts’.
SPONSOR: Sizzle Merchants get sound-effected.
CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Stare-off with ‘New Cat’/Book deal.
CALLER: David Lynch both on the line and in the studio.
BREAK: Merch talk and ‘Podfarts’ x 2.
CALLER: Dion – Higgins ‘radicalised’/James Bond marathon.
CALLER: Conrad – Now doing ‘Previously’ VOs in New Zealand.
BREAK: Thank yous and sign-off for 2021.
SONG: Lou Reed – ‘5G Feeling’. (music by Davey Lane)
THEME: Live.
EPILOGUE: Pete Smith arrives – ‘Skirts’ with Tony and Matt.

 

Ep 53: Unplugged: Fully Loaded 6/1/22

 

THEME: Glockenspiel.

TOPIC: Every movie Tony saw in 1984.

CLIP: Chrissie, Sam & Browny – ‘Cannonball Run II’.

STORY: ‘Language Most Foul’.

THEME: Glockenspiel.

 

Ep 54: Scotch 3/2/22

 

PROLOGUE: Warning about warnings.
THEME: Original.

INTRO: Tony running late. ‘Get Smart’ entrance.

CALLER: Dave Clacton – ‘You Can’t Say Anything’ comedy festival.

BREAK: Matt cops ‘face nappy’ comment.

CALLER: Cratog Carabasirica – Loves ‘Scotch Morrison’.

SKETCH: Trailer for 1983 James Bond film ‘Quadragina’.

SPONSOR: New Year’s Sizzle Merchants.

CALLER: Heart Attack Man – Not calling 000 - ‘My body, my choice’.

CALLER: Clive Howlett – Secretly recording wife and new lover.

BREAK: New merch.

CALLER: Ron Pudding – ‘Let’s All Get Covid’ song.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Heathcote trapped in glass box.

Ep 55: Nanoworms! 3/3/22

 

PROLOGUE: Short Cheers opener.

SPONSOR: Allegiance Wines return. Spraying champagne hinders read.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Nick Hempton’s ‘Born to Be Blue’ helps restore ‘late nite’ vibe.

CALLER: Pepper Spray Man – Pepper-sprayed at protest and in Subway.

CALLER: Reg Tankwater – Nanoworms/Wrote letter to younger self.

BREAK: ‘Podfarts’ including our last episode.

CALLER: Bumblethwaite Cumblethwim – pulling out of show.

BREAK: Matt’s dog calls in. Cat translator ineffective.

SPONSOR: Allegiance Sizzletown poster announcement.

CALLER: Niles Nyquist – Sack wax/Light bulbs/Harrow/The Replacements.

BREAK: Listener pledges.

INT: Simon Haight – ScoMo’s ukulele mastery/‘April Sun in Cuba’.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: ‘Piss Off’ song.

Ep 56: Potted Monster 7/4/22

 

SPONSOR: Tony does read from inside cannon with lit fuse.

THEME: Vibes.

INTRO: Gympie mayor’s ‘cappucino’ quote/2 million downloads.

CALLER: The Hater – Feedback e-mail/Menuless drive-thru/Younger finale.

CALLER: Harold Bitumen – Gave multiple bank account details to scammers.

BREAK: Under Investigation promo with Top Gun music.

SPONSOR: Our ‘limited edition collector’s edition’ poster.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Sugarcube now part of a gang.

BREAK: Listener Pledges.

CALLER: Dion – The Batman/Stephen & Pogo’s bad schemes.

THEME: Vibes.

EPILOGUE: Matt in coffee-cutlery shock!

Ep 57: Electric Ants 5/5/22

 

SPONSOR: Allegiance Wines UN translation.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Election imminent - straight to callers.

CALLER: Shane Sex Robot – Preparing to fake his own death.

BREAK: Podworx tour – Ash Williams/Darth Vader/RIP Gilbert Gottfried.

CALLER: Byron Baes Fan – Has called the wrong podcast.

CALLER: Herbert Twentyman – Has strong views on Byron Baes. 

SPONSOR: Last call for Sizzletown posters.

CALLER: Cargo Shorts Man – Didn’t spill drink in footy brawl clip.

CALLER: Cratog Carabasirica – ‘Scotch’ and the ‘fishos’.

BREAK: Sizzle Merchants serenaded by Matt.

CALLER: @welcometothenannystate returns with ‘Dictator Dom’ song.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Botany Baes Promo.

Ep 58: Mukbang Mishaps 2/6/22

 

PROLOGUE: Dog attempts to prank call cat.

THEME: Epic.

INTRO: Tony can’t sleep – but is it a dream?

CALLER: Simon Haight – Election aftermath.

CALLER: Cratog Carabasirica – Already missing ‘Scotch’.

CALLER: Harold Styles – Doesn’t like shapeshifters.

CALLER: Hamilton NZ Man – Promotes ‘Hamilton’ musical.

BREAK: Shut Up launched – Matt’s contribution.

CALLER: Cargo Shorts Man – Mukbang videos gone wrong.

SPONSOR: Welcome aboard, Royal Stacks.

CALLER: Colin Holcroft – Trans matters/Movie World (Boronia).

BREAK: A quick ‘Podfarts’.

CALLER: Bill Clinton – Is on Cameo/Saw Impeachment.

BREAK: Merchant support, incuding DeFib Warehouse.

SKETCH: Promo for Morrison musical.

THEME: Epic.

EPILOGUE: Harold Styles outtake: ‘Elongated Man’.

Ep 59: Peacocking 7/7/22

 

PROLOGUE: Norman Swan – Further mask advice.

THEME: Original.

INTRO: Roof opens, but it’s raining. Heathcote unimpressed.

CALLER: Patrick Paget – Moved to Pukekohe, accused of ‘peacocking’.

BREAK: ‘Podfarts’ x 3 (including ‘Big Squid’.)

CALLER: Dave Clacton – Busted Nut ‘cancelled’ due to offensive shows.

SPONSOR: Royal Stacks – free arcade games!

MESSAGE: Barry Football – Multiple apologies (Boobs and ‘The Granny’).

CALLER: Ray – Failed egg prank saw him invited onto radio show.

BREAK: Merchant support, response to Morrison.

CALLER: The Pikelet Man – Has to host show while Tony moves car.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: Logies clip – Travel Guides.

Ep 60: Skimblechaize 4/8/22

 

THEME: Original plays as Tony arrives at Podworx.

INTRO: Tony claims to be up for the Miles Franklin. Matt skeptical.

CALLER: Shane Pile Cushion – Two moons/Magnetic Island/Multiple masks.

BREAK: Live cross to Peter Meager presenting the Miles Franklin.

CALLER: Man with a Lot of Super – Hangs up almost immediately.

CALLER: Giles Baratheon – Not happy with Thor: Love and Thunder.

SPONSOR: Royal Stacks – driving round the grounds.

INT: Jeff Goldblum – Cut from the new Thor.

CALLER: Amalgamated Conglomerations – Credit card scam call.

BREAK: Listener pledges delivered by pigeon.

BREAK: Late night vibe restored by Nick Hempton’s ‘Blue Shadows’.

CALLER: Cratog Carabasirica – Worried about ‘Scotch Morrison’.

THEME: Original.

EPILOGUE: ‘Blue Shadows’ part 2.